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PoetPatriot.com   -   Faith - Religion page

An  Affair ?


Why an Affair ?

by Roger W Hancock


A man needs the close physical touch of the woman he has given his life to.  When he does not get it, it will effect him deeply and subconsciously, if he is not consciously aware.  The lack of the physical, opens a door for Satan to tempt.

A woman needs a more platonic caressing touch along with romance. Such may facilitate her willingness or desire for the more intimate.  Physical intimacy without romance opens the door for Satan to tempt.
An affair destroys two lives, three or four if you count the other/s.  Often more lives are effected when children are in the house. It destroys the trust between two lovers. An affair also destroys the trust of your children towards you and may negatively impact their future relationships. The same is said for, even, the inappropriate actions that may lead to an affair, whether it does or not.  
Why would anyone jeopardize the relationship they have built? A person begins to dwell on the inadequacies of their relationship rather than the positive and the years invested. They may even listen to their associates. Coworkers or Neighbors who have been divorced, and those stories may even sound similar to yours and you begin to force-fit the pieces. That is a ploy Satan uses to weaken your resolve.  An affair is doomed to failure when began in the betrayal of another. An affair is usually empty devoid of the years building a relationship as you have with your spouse. We see portrayed on Television that when an affair ends the Man will say, “Sorry, she meant nothing to me.” Obviously with the premise used so often it came from more than one person’s indiscretion. Saying such also means nothing when the trust has already been broken. Of course, an affair would mean nothing. It does not have the years and love that you have invested in your marriage. To say the affair meant nothing is truthfully telling the other that the marriage did not mean as much as it should have. It does not console but speaks truth about your faithfulness, or “lack of.“

The temptation may initially  take one of two paths. The first and more obvious begins with simple (never innocent) flirtation with co-workers or other associates. The second is depression that may also lend itself to an affair by weakening the resolve to resist temptation.

One usually thinks love is the issue when nurturing an affair, but such is a lie. Selfishness is the sin that deceives oneself. A person begins to consider another option to meet a specific need that is not being met. The commitment made at the wedding is not considered. The commitment to God is not considered. The selfish need over-takes ones rationale. One succumbs to sinning in selfishness which leads to other sinful indiscretions.  

The lack of a need not met may lead to depression. Depression is a temptation to dwell on that we cannot control. Sound familiar? We hear that about worry which is the sin of not trusting. Need I say it again, Selfishness is the sin that draws one into depression. Selfishness is the root of evil that leads to the love of money. When dwelling upon our  needs not met one is often drawn into self-pity which draws into depression. The selfish sin weakens our resolve when an opportunity for an affair comes along. Depression in self-pity may draw one so deep they are unable to pull themselves out. Depression is a condition that must be battled as it often leads to thoughts of, if not, suicide.  Prayer and meditation on God and His word is the weapons we have that will provide victory.  Even after victory from an episode of depression the temptation may reside but never give in to it.

For the Christian, it is a battle against Satan himself.  When you give in to any wrongful temptation you sin. Remember the temptation is not the sin. Temptation is that first thought, brought by Satan to tempt you into sin. You begin to sin on that second thought. When you give in, you sin. Facilitating any sort of romantic relationship with another, other than your spouse, has gone beyond the temptation. The Christian has a greater power to resist; the power of the almighty God.  God’s Grace is sufficient when we grasp that which God has availed. When we are not prayed-up, we give up resisting sin. A Victorious life is not devoid of temptation but victorious over them.

Remember, “…’til death do us part.”  Divorce was allowed only because of the hardening of your heart. Jeopardize your first love and you sin big time.  A person in a second or third marriage, failed to protect their first God-ordained union. (Grant it, one might only have been along for the ride, while the other stayed intent on divorce, however usually both play a part.)

An affair can be prevented by a strong commitment to the other and an unwavering commitment to God. The couple with no faith must work together to meet the others needs understanding the other may not be able to meet all of them. A need never to be met surely is included in the “for worse.”

The wedding vows said, “…’til death…”. Yes, even when one has been unfaithful. God is forgiving, so must we be. Though the trust has been broken and must be rebuilt, the years of love invested, surely have an interest. Christ died to provide salvation from sin, and victory in life.


------------------- Roger W Hancock

The PoetPatriot will have 29 years with his wife on August 29, 2010.

Marriage vows are not just between husband and wife but also with God, the father; Christ, the son; and the Holy Spirit.

----------------- Copyright - ©1998 - fool4JESUS, RWH  ©2005 - PoetPatriot.com

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